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Personal Reflection/Anecdote

The “Reluctant” Leader

By Lori Holguin

I am an introvert by nature. When I tell others this fact, they seem genuinely
surprised, so I suppose I compensate well. The mere thought of being called on to
answer aloud in a group causes my mouth to go dry and my palms to sweat. These
things I can live with; it is only when my brain becomes traitorous and freezes up
that I have a problem. How frustrating to know the correct answer and be unable
to articulate it! All of my life, this issue has held me back from volunteering for
leadership roles or saying yes to opportunities for which I would otherwise be a
good fit. DKG provided an avenue for this reluctant leader to step up and grow!

A Leadership Development Conference Makes a Difference

Soon after being inducted into DKG, I went to my first DKG Leadership
Conference at Caraway Conference Center in Asheboro, North Carolina, because a
member of my chapter encouraged me to go. We were asked
to complete the StrengthsFinder Assessment (Gallup, 2000,
2006–2012)), which was an eye-opening experience. Nancy
Cox, a member of Beta Iota Chapter and facilitator for this
talent assessment, led us in completing a questionnaire. The
results were subsequently calculated, and we were provided a
list of our top strengths. I had the desire to be a leader. I had
many traits that would make me a good leader, such as the
ability to collaborate to accomplish goals, strategic thinking,
and creativity. I had so many thoughts and plans to contribute
in various areas. However, when it was time to verbalize
those ideas, my brain would betray me. At times, my mind
just refuses to compute, and I sometimes look like a deer in
the headlights. This has been a lifelong issue for me.
When I was a child, I was given a solo in the church
musical, and when I stepped to the front for my turn in the
spotlight, I opened my mouth to sing and could not remember
a single word. As an adult, this same problem occurred any
time I was in front of a group and expected to contribute
aloud. For example, in the early days of my teaching career,
Do You Know The Way a professional development event included an activity that consisted of standing
to Go © Photograph
by Connie Savell, NC; in a circle, catching a randomly tossed globe, and saying the place your thumb
2021 DKG Fine Arts landed—such as “water” or “land.” It could not have been simpler. When I caught
Gallery the globe, I looked down, as if trying to decide if my thumb was on water or land
and stood mute. Another teacher began to taunt me in front of the group, and I was
mortified. I knew they questioned whether I was intelligent enough to teach in a
public school! The activity moved on then, but I did not. I could not. I was frozen
in time, reliving the humiliation over and over as I kept thinking about what had
happened. I did not participate in any discussion after that episode. I shut down and
stayed silent and “small” for the remainder of the weekend workshop. For most
of my life, I have considered this to be my main weakness and the reason I would

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