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DKG Practice/Program

Learn, Listen, Lead

By Marti Daily, Glenda Ferguson, Bonnie Moore, and Judith Neilan

Under the leadership of Bonnie Moore, first vice president of Texas State
Organization and certified by the International Coaching Federation, three
members of Indiana State Organization participated in a virtual book discussion
on leadership techniques based on The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More &
Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier (2016). Stanier
summarized his book as follows: “The Coaching Habit book is NOT about turning
you into a coach. It’s about making you a leader, a manager,
a human being who’s more coach-like. This means building
this simple but difficult new habit: Stay curious a little longer,
rush to action and advice-giving a little more slowly.” At the
end of the book discussion experience, the authors reflected
on what was valuable as DKG leaders and on a personal
level. Responses to questions brainstormed by the group are
shared here.

What led you to pursue reading and discussions
with Bonnie Moore about coaching?

Marti Daily (Indiana State Organization editor and
Omega Chapter co-president): At the 2020 virtual convention
for DKG, Bonnie Moore presented a breakout session titled
“Coaching to Communicate Success” and recommended
Stanier’s book. I judged the book by its cover and purchased
it immediately after Bonnie’s session. My initial assumption
was that it would help me experience more of a “socratic”
method in discussions; I soon found out it wasn’t exactly
that, but it DID help in my personal goal (paraphrasing Aaron
Burr in the play Hamilton) to “talk less—listen more.” I wish
I had discovered it while I was still teaching, but the lessons learned are definitely
relevant to almost any leadership experience!
Glenda Ferguson (Omicron Chapter co-president): I realized the questions in
the coaching book would help me support my writing group, our DKG members,
and a change in my own habits.
Judith Neilan (Indiana State Organization communications committee member
and parliamentarian of Gamma Mu Chapter): I was intrigued with how coaching
might assist in leading others to step up to leadership roles in our chapter of DKG.
Rather than taking no for an answer when asking someone to serve as a committee
chair or in some other capacity, coaching seems to be a way of helping others see
they can do the job asked of them. Oftentimes, they may not be aware of their own
abilities.

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