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Viewpoint

Sandbagging: A Metaphor for

Understanding Trauma

By Karen Gross

Two events inspired me to think of connections between
sandbags and trauma. First, I had just finished reading
Charlotte Maya’s moving memoir, Sushi Tuesdays (2023).
It is a poignant, honest, and witty story of how she and
her two young children coped with the death by suicide
of her 41-year-old husband (and children’s father). As
she says, the book took 12 years to live and 10 years to
write. The book touched me professionally and personally.
Indeed, who goes through life without dealing with grief,
howsoever defined? The answer is: no one.
And to be clear: grief can be caused by a wide-ranging
number of events or even the non-occurrence of events,
and what causes grief is not homogenous. Grief does not
always derive from death; termination of relationships
through divorce can produce grief. So can a relationship
fracture pre-marriage. Grief can also come from injuries,
such as through shootings or loss of a limb, or it can stem
from loss of a home or a car or a favorite object saved
for generations. And grief is but one of many forms that
trauma can take.
The second event occurred when U.S. President Joseph
Biden tripped over a sandbag when he attended the Air A Silent Reflection © Photograph by Mary
Force Academy graduation ceremony in early June 2023. Stayner, IL; Spring 2023 Art Gallery
The president literally fell to the ground, although he was
uninjured. What was startling to me, in addition to the presence of a sandbag on a stage, was what the
president quipped after the event. Without pause, as if to address those who were focused on his mental
acumen, he said, “I’ve been sandbagged.” Now, he meant this literally, but he also captured a secondary
meaning of the term “sandbagged.” The word has been defined in dictionaries to describe having been
duped, coerced, or intimidated—but it is also defined as being hit or stung unexpectedly. Howsoever the
term is defined, no person wants to be sandbagged.

Sandbags

With these two events in mind, let’s turn to sandbags and trauma—a broader concept than grief
although there is overlap. In her book, Maya’s college friend points out to her early in her recovery that
grief is like a heavy sandbag. If we never pick up the sandbag (grief), we will keep tripping over it. When
we pick the sandbag up, we note that the bag has a tiny hole that lets its sand drain out over time. Maya
keeps referencing this sandbag as she and her family and friends process her late husband’s suicide. The
point? We need to avoid getting sandbagged if that is possible . . . and we must deal directly with trauma
rather than hide it.

The Sandbag’s Shape and Draining

Collegial Exchange · 11